(那时候的我,一直都在想,依赖和恋爱到底有什么不一样?如果过去一切的一切都只是我的错觉而已,那我过去的感觉也未免太过逼真,真实了。)

Yes, this is a world which belong to me, where i can express myself freely here. But this is not a normal world. At here, snow is no longer white; shiny day also won't appear here. Here is the hell for a dark angel, a world which belong to the dark angel.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Thursday 29 October 2009

寂寞?好了!?


拼命的奢望 闷坏的胸口让我想大声的呐喊
我努力不放 你冷淡 你让分手 就这样
我连做梦也感觉受伤
一年过了 还是一天 计算着慌张
计程车上的音响 我们最爱的情歌
这一刻却重重击破思念的 心脏

夜深了我怎么办 寂寞了谁在身旁
心情变得好复杂 想她 念她 恨她
一个人你害怕吗 细数过漫天星光
说好永远不分开 多假 多假 多假
让记忆长出翅膀 飞翔
心放空了 寂寞 好了

坚强外表下 我脆弱 情人节开始失常
别人庆祝 我却很失落
秋天过了 冬天漫长
关于爱 感伤
我们天真的勇敢 我们追求的梦想
舍不得也只能收藏旅行的时光
寂寞感冒全都可以好的
爱多甜 伤多痛 都释放 oh~

没有你 心放空了 寂寞 好了


************


很有味道的一首歌。。。
一整晚就只重复地听着它。。。
不期然地,所有的一切回忆又在脑海里走马花似的重温了一遍。。。
感觉很悲伤,可是这都是属于自己的过去。。。
唉。。。
原来所有的一切一切。。。
以前看得比性命都还重要的一切,在此刻,就只是一段段缠绕着自己的回忆而已;重温过了,缅怀过了,就得放开,一点点都不能留下来,因为它已经不再属于我了!
怎样都好,谢谢以前的某位,没有你,也没有今天的我。。。
这是真的!!!
我的人生已经因你而改变了,我也变了。。。
我还能回去吗?
回到过去那个天真的我?
还能吗?
我还能变回那个乐观的我吗?
原来你说对了,你对我的“后遗症”的确是很严重的。
不过这些都过去了,因旻佑的歌曲而勾起的一切,也就只是过去悲伤的回忆而已。
到此为止吧!
我会好好把握现在,珍惜所有,和创造未来的!
哈哈。。。
为我祈祷吧!!!
啊!!!
题外话将太多了。。。
主题是推荐旻佑的这首新歌。。。
太棒了!!!
哈哈。。。
好久没有这种感觉了!
旻佑的歌声真的有种魔力!
大家就好好支持吧!
蔡旻佑 - 寂寞,好了


Wednesday 28 October 2009

夢·想·家

《夢·想·家》 是潘裕文首張國語專輯

首波主打歌為 《最想做的事》。

全碟十首歌的歌詞特別邀來幸福系作者姚若龍量身打造,這也是姚若龍老師入行20年來頭一遭擔綱全專輯歌詞執筆。


阿潘的首张个人专辑,一定要好好支持一下!!!

怎么了?

刚刚无聊,就去拜读了“阿潘”的部落格,本来还蛮感动一下的说。

可是却发现自己越来越麻木了,好像是对任何事情都没什么感觉了;只要是事不关己的,就会满不在乎的,就算是感动的感觉也只是一闪而逝。

我到底是怎么了?
还是人长大了都是会变得这样?
是因为社会工作压力而慢慢地变成麻木不仁吗?
还是有其他什么原因?
有谁可以告诉我?

Tuesday 27 October 2009

省钱大计!!!

哈哈。。。

如题:就是要省钱!

计划如下:

房屋供期 + 车子供期 = 1000 令吉
保险供期 = 300 令吉
房租 + 水电杂费 = 400 令吉
车油 = 300 令吉
生活费 (其中包括了1天3餐,周末娱乐等等) = 600 令吉 (1星期才有150令吉,少得可怜)

那我的储蓄呢?
就是那剩下来的200令吉咯。。。

哇靠!根本就不是什么大计嘛!!!
呜呜。。。。。。

Friday 23 October 2009

Quotations

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's no thing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

1.誤會; 2.釘子; 3.且慢下手; 4. 寬大

1.誤會 :

早年在美國阿拉斯加地方,有一對年輕人結婚,婚後生育, 他的太太因難產而死,遺下一孩子。
他忙生活,又忙於看家,因沒有人幫忙看孩子,就訓練一隻狗, 那狗聰明聽話,能照顧小孩,咬著奶瓶餵奶給孩子喝,撫養孩子。
有一天,主人出門去了,叫牠照顧孩子。
他到了別的鄉村,因遇大雪,當日不能回來。
第二天才趕回家,狗立即聞聲出來迎接主人。
他把房門開一看,到處是血, 抬頭一望,床上也是血,孩子不見了,狗在身邊,滿口也是血, 主人發現這種情形,以為狗性發作,把孩子吃掉了, 大怒之下,拿起刀來向著狗頭一劈,把狗殺死了。
之後,忽然聽到孩子的聲音,又見他從床下爬了出來, 於是抱起孩子;雖然身上有血,但並未受傷。
他很奇怪,不知究竟是怎麼一回事,再看看狗身, 腿上的肉沒有了,旁邊有一隻狼,口裡還咬著狗的肉; 狗救了小主人,卻被主人誤殺了,這真是天下最令人驚奇的誤會。
註:
誤會的事,是人往往在不瞭解、無理智、無耐心、缺少思考、 未能多方體諒對方,反省自己,感情極為衝動的情況之下所發生。
誤會一開始,即一直只想到對方的千錯萬錯;因此,會使誤會越陷越深, 弄到不可收拾的地步,人對無知的動物小狗發生誤會, 尚且會有如此可怕嚴重的後果,這樣人與人之間的誤會,則其後果更是難以想像。


2.釘子 :

有一個男孩有著很壞的脾氣,於是他的父親就給了他一袋釘子; 並且告訴他,每當他發脾氣的時候就釘一根釘子在後院的圍籬上。
第一天,這個男孩釘下了37 根釘子。
慢慢地每天釘下的數量減少了。
他發現控制自己的脾氣要比釘下那些釘子來得容易些。
終於有一天這個男孩再也不會失去耐性亂發脾氣,他告訴他的父親這件事, 父親告訴他,現在開始每當他能控制自己的脾氣的時候,就拔出一根釘子。
一天天地過去了,最後男孩告訴他的父親,他終於把所有釘子都拔出來了。
父親握著他的手來到後院說:你做得很好,我的好孩子。 但是看看那些圍籬上的洞,這些圍籬將永遠不能回復成從前。
你生氣的時候說的話將像這些釘子一樣留下疤痕。
如果你拿刀子捅別人一刀,不管你說了多少次對不起,那個傷口將永遠存在。
話語的傷痛就像真實的傷痛一樣令人無法承受。
註:
人與人之間常常因為一些彼此無法釋懷的堅持,而造成永遠的傷害。
如果我們都能從自己做起,開始寬容地看待他人, 相信你(妳)一定能收到許多意想不到的結果....
幫別人開啟一扇窗, 也就是讓自己看到更完整的天空....


3.且慢下手 :

大多數的同仁都很興奮,因為單位裡調來一位新主管,據說是個能人,專門被派來 整頓業務;可是日一天天過去,新主管卻毫無作為,每天彬彬有禮進辦公室, 便躲在裡面難得出門,那些本來緊張得要死的壞份子,現在反而更猖獗了。
「他那裡是個能人嘛!根本是個老好人,比以前的主管更容易唬!」 四個月過去,就在真正努力為新主管感到失望時, 新主管卻發威了--壞份子一律開革,能人則獲得晉昇。
下手之快,斷事之準,與四月表現保守的他,簡直像是全然換個人。
年終聚餐時,新主管在酒過三巡之後致詞:
「相信大家對我新到任期間的表現,和後來的大刀闊斧,一定感到不解, 現在聽我說個故事,各位就明白了:
「我有位朋友,買了棟帶著大院的房子, 他一搬進去,就將那院子全面整頓,雜草樹一律清除,改種自己新買的花卉, 某日原先的屋主往訪,進門大吃一驚的問:『那最名貴的牡丹哪裡去了?』 我這位朋友才發現,他竟然把牡丹當草給剷了。 後來他又買了一棟房子,雖然院子更是雜亂,他卻是按兵不動, 果然冬天以為是雜樹的植物,春天裡開了繁花; 春天以為是野草的,夏天裡成了錦蔟;半年都沒有動靜的小樹,秋天居然紅了葉。 直到暮秋,它才真正認清哪些是無用的植物, 而大力剷除,並使所有珍貴的草木得以保存。」
說到這兒,主管舉起杯來: 「讓我敬在座的每一位,因為如果這辦公室是個花園,你們就都是其間的珍木, 珍木不可能一年到頭開花結果,只有經過長期的觀察才認得出啊!


4.寬大 :

這是一個甫自越戰歸來的士兵的故事。
他從舊金山打電話給他的父母,告訴他們:「爸媽,我回來了,可是我有個不情之請。 我想帶一個朋友同我一起回家。」
「當然好啊!」他們回答
「我們會很高興見到的。」
不過兒子又繼續下去「可是有件事我想先告訴你們,他在越戰裡受了重傷, 少了一條胳臂和一隻腳,他現在走投無路,我想請他回來和我們一起生活。」
「兒子,我很遺撼,不過或許我們可以幫他找個安身之處。」 父親又接著說
「兒子,你不知道自己在說些什麼。 像他這樣殘障的人會對我們的生活造成很大的負擔。 我們還有自己的生活要過,不能就讓他這樣破壞了。 我建議你先回家然後忘了他,他會找到自己的一片天空的。」
就在此時卻l掛上了電話,他的父母再也沒有他的消息了。
幾天後,這對父母接到了來自舊金山警局的電話, 告訴他們親愛的兒子已經墜樓身亡了。
警方相信這只是單純的自殺案件。
於是他們傷心欲絕地飛往舊金山,並在警方帶領之下到停屍間去辨認兒子的遺體。
那的確是他們的兒子沒錯,但驚訝的是兒子居然,只有一條胳臂和一條腿。
故事中的父母就和我們大多數人一樣。
要去喜愛面貌姣好或談吐風趣的人很容易, 但是要喜歡那些造成我們不便和不快的人卻太難了。
我們總是寧願和那些不如我們健康,美麗或聰明的人保持距離。
然而有些人卻不會對我們如此殘酷。
他們會無怨無悔地愛我們,不論我們多麼糟總是願意接納我們。


今晚在你入睡之前,請試著去接納他人, 不論他們是怎麼樣的人;請用心去了解那些不同於我們的人。

每個人的心裡都藏著一種神奇的東西稱為「友情」, 你不知道它究竟是如何發生何時發生,但你卻知道它總會帶給我們特殊的禮物。

朋友就像是稀奇的寶物。

他們帶來歡笑,激勵我們成功。

他們傾聽我們內心的話,與我們分享每一句讚美。

他們的心房永遠為我們而敞開。

************

試想:

朋友,您一路看下來之後;一定有很深的感觸吧。

那麼,在對別人有所決定與判斷之前,首先,請想想這是否是一個「誤會」, 然後,請考慮您是否一定要釘下這個「 釘子」, 如果可以的話,請「且慢下手 」。 因為,當您對別人「寬大」之時,即是對您自己寬大。

麥當勞的故事

在我家附近,開了一家新的麥當勞。

耀眼的M字招牌,馬上變成了一個顯目的指標,無論是指引車子裡的司機,還是指引肚子裡的蛔蟲。

而我,因為一直在外面求學的關係,所以始終沒有機會踏入這間距離我家僅只100公尺的世界級小,麥當勞。

直到那一天,我回家的那天,媽媽剛好回了澎湖,姐姐則去參加台南的朋友婚宴,平常食物香氣不斷的廚房,登時空蕩起來。

偌大的家,剩下我一個。

於是,我下了決心,踏入就在我家隔壁的黃色大,麥當勞。

推開門,裡頭還是那樣清潔的讓人心曠神怡,麥當勞叔叔掛著親切的笑容迎接著我。

於是,我點了一號餐,非常輕鬆愉快的找了一張靠窗的座位坐下,吃著美味的漢堡,思考著麥當勞為什麼會風靡全台灣的原因。

因為麥當勞行銷策略是針對「小孩」吧。

再也沒有什麼偉大的願望,能比得上小孩滿足笑容的。

突然,我看到了兩個人,他們在一瞬間就吸引了我的注意力。

因為他們跟這間整潔嶄新的建築物,一點都不搭配。

他們是一個父親,還有一個小孩。

父親身上泛黃的襯衫,東破了一個洞,西破了一個洞,沾滿了不知道是汽油還是黑油的油漬, 一張臉略顯消瘦,尤其是被太陽不斷洗禮的皮膚,更顯得他飽受風霜,如果我沒猜錯,他應該是個工人吧。

而小孩跟他父親比起來,並不算太瘦,但是若是跟麥當勞裡頭,任何一個握著飛機跑來跑去的小朋友來比,他實在太黑太小了。

兩個人,慢慢的走進了麥當勞,從他們遲疑的步伐和四處張望的態度,可以猜測他們應該是第一次來到這種速食店。

「我們要一份薯條,一杯可樂,還要兩個豬肉堡...」父親結結巴巴的說著, 「總共150元。」店員臉上依然是麥當勞招牌微笑。

「150元?好...好...」父親低下頭,用那隻又黑又髒的手,在口袋裡不斷的掏著,叮噹叮噹,一口袋的銅板,都撒在潔白的點餐桌上。

父親拿著銅板,慢慢的數著。

「10元,20元,30元,40元,50元,55元,56元....」 店員倒還沈的住氣,依然微笑,等待著顧客將手上的零錢點清。

可是我已 經看到幾個排在他們後面的年輕人,露出了不耐煩的表情。

突然,原本都不說話的小朋友,拉著父親髒破的襯衫,嚷著,「爸爸,我要那個車車,人家要那台車車....」 「車車玩具啊?」父親瞇著眼睛看了看那台玩具,又轉頭問店員,「請問加這玩具要多少錢?」 「要50元喔。」店員聲音微微提高,不知道是提醒父親,他手上的零錢可能不夠支付,還是為了讓他知難而退。

父親沒有說話,只是露出了為難的表情。

幾條皺紋被擠在他烏黑的額頭上,嘴角卻揚起了一陣苦笑。

這樣的表情,好深刻。

讓我幾乎忍不住,想放下了手上的漢堡,拿出還在我口袋的五十元。

可是最後,我卻沒動,因為我想知道父親的選擇。

「那.....小姐,抱歉....我不要那個漢堡了,一個漢堡就好了。」 店員遲疑了一下,很快的按下更改鍵,一個可能是父親這輩子唯一一次吃到的漢堡,變成了一個玩具汽車。

也在這個時候,父親點完了錢,他收起了僅剩在桌上的兩三個零錢, 一手端起那個木質的盤子,另一手則牽起了小朋友的手,慢慢的走向他們的座位。

那瞬間,我看到了身為父親的驕傲。

原本屈婁的身體,突然變得挺拔起來。

而他的小朋友好興奮,不斷的跳著笑著,發出撲嚕撲嚕的汽車聲音,玩著他的新玩具。

睜著眼睛,偷偷地看著他們。

父親什麼都沒吃,只是掛著非常滿足的微笑,看著興奮異常的小朋友,一會玩玩具,一會抓著薯條,用各種姿勢品嚐這份得來不易的美食。

我靜靜的看著,突然發現,我必須找個地方,找隻筆,或許是網路,記載下當時父親的表情。

他瞇著眼睛,非常疼惜的看著他眼前的小朋友,那幾道皺紋又在他的額頭縮緊,只是這次,他是真的笑了。

不再是苦笑。

而是一種非常滿足的笑容。

為什麼麥當勞能夠席捲全世界?

因為父母的愛,能夠席捲全世界。

我彷彿感受到了他那份滿足,低下頭,笑著把我手上的漢堡吃完。

【後段】

我吃完了漢堡,終於拿出了我口袋裡的五十元,走到了櫃台。

「請再給我一個漢...」我話才說到一半,卻發現...那個年輕的女店員已經從後面端出了一個剛出爐的漢堡,對我微微一笑,然後離開櫃台,走向父子坐的那張餐桌。

走過我身旁的時候,她還不忘俏皮的眨了眨眼睛。「這個漢堡,已經有人訂了。」

Thursday 22 October 2009

有没有搞错啊!?

如题。。。

真是的!有没有搞错啊!?
真的有一种无名的冲动,想让粗口就这样脱口而出。。。
他妈的!!!
这是什么世界啦!?有没有天理啊!?

唉。。。
真是的!
刚刚读了一位朋友的部落格,他都写了一大堆自伤自怜的故事。

可是!!!
这样可怜的一个人儿。。。
都对我做了些什么啊?
妈的!!!
又有谁知道呢?

不公平!!!!!!

Wednesday 21 October 2009

浪漫

老公是學理科的,當初喜歡他,是因為他的穩重,依靠在他的肩上有暖暖的踏實,三年的戀愛,兩年的婚姻,而我已倦了。

當初的喜歡,現在倦他的根源,我是個感性的小女人,敏感細膩,渴望浪漫,如孩提時代渴望美麗的糖果。

而他,卻天性不善於製造浪漫,木獨到讓我感受不到愛的氣息。

某天,終於鼓起勇氣說:我們分開吧。
他問:為什麼?
我說:倦了,就不需要理由了。

那個晚上,他只抽煙不說話。 我的心越來越涼,連挽留都不會表達的男人,他能給我什麼樣的快樂?

他 說:怎麼做你才可以改變?
人說秉性難改,我想我已經不對他抱什麼希望了。
望著他的眼睛,我慢慢地說:回答一個問題,如果你能答到我心裏就可以,比如我非常喜歡懸崖上的一朵花,而你去摘的結果是百分之百的死亡,你會不會摘給我?
他說:明天早晨告訴你答案好嗎?

我的心灰下去。

早晨醒來,他已經不在,只有一張寫滿字的紙壓在溫熱的牛奶杯子下。

第一行,就讓我涼透了。

親愛的,我不會去摘,但請容許我陳述不去摘的理由:
你只會用電腦打字,卻總把程式弄得一塌糊塗,然後對著鍵盤哭,我要留著手指給你整理程式; 你出門總是忘記帶鑰匙,我要留著雙腳跑回來給你開門;酷愛旅遊的你在自己的城市裏都常常迷路,我要留著眼睛給你帶路; 每月「老朋友」光臨時你總是全身冰涼,還肚子疼,我要留著掌心溫暖你的小腹; 你不愛出門,我擔心你會患上自閉症,留著嘴巴驅趕你的寂寞; 你總是盯著電腦,眼睛給糟蹋得不太好了,我要好好活著,等你老了,給你修剪指甲,幫你拔掉讓你懊惱得白髮,拉著你的手,在海邊享受美好的陽光和柔軟的沙灘,告訴你一朵花的顏色,像你青春的臉...... 所以,在我不能確定有人比我更愛你以前我不想去摘那朵花......

我的淚滴在紙上,開成晶瑩的花朵,抹淨淚,繼續往下看:

親愛的,如果你已經看完了,答案還讓你滿意,請你開門吧,我正站在門外,手裏提著你喜歡吃的鮮奶麵包......

拉開門,我看見他的臉,緊張得像個孩子,只會把捏著麵包的手在我眼前晃晃。

是的,是的,我確定,沒人比他更愛我,所以我不想要那朵花。

這就是愛情或者生活,被幸福平靜包圍時,一些平凡的愛意,總被渴望激情浪漫的心靈忽略, 愛在他因你而起的許多個微小不足道的動作裏,從來就沒有固定的模式,只要愛,可以是任何一種平淡無奇的形式。

花朵、浪漫,不過是浮在生活表面的淺淺點綴,它們的下面才是我們的生活。

幸福

有一個人,他生前善良而且熱心助人,所以在他死後,昇上天堂,做了天使。 他當了天使後,仍時常到凡間幫助人,希望能感受到幸福的味道。

有一天,他遇見一個農夫,農夫的樣子非常煩惱,他向天使訴說︰「我家的水牛剛死了,沒牠幫忙犁田,那我怎能下田工作呢?」 於是天使賜給他一隻健壯的水牛,農夫很高興,天使在他身上感受到幸福的味道。

又有一天,他遇見一個男人,男人非常沮喪,他向天使訴說︰「我的錢都被騙光,沒有盤纏回鄉。」 於是天使送給他銀兩做路費,男人很高興,天使在他身上感受到幸福的味道。

又一日,他遇見一個詩人,詩人年青、英俊、有才華而且富有,妻子貌美又溫柔,但他卻過得不快樂。 天使問他︰「你不快樂嗎?我能幫你嗎?」 詩人對天使說︰「我什麼也有,只欠一樣東西,你能夠給我嗎?」 天使回答說︰「可以。你要什麼我也可以給你。」 詩人直直的望著天使︰「我想要的是幸福。」 這下子把天使難倒了,天使想了想,說︰「我明白了。」 然後把詩人所擁有的都拿走。天使拿走詩人的才華,毀去他的容貌,奪去他的財產,和他妻子的性命,天使做完這些事後,便離去了。 一個月後,天使再回到詩人的身邊,他那時餓得半死,衣衫襤褸地在躺在地上掙扎。 於是,天使把他的一切還給他,然後,又離去了。半個月後,天使再去看看詩人。 這次,詩人摟著妻子,不住向天使道謝,因為,他得到幸福了。

你曾覺得孤獨?
你嚐過幸福的味道?
孤寂、璀璨本就是形容詞,所有的形容詞都是比較的。
沒嘗過孤寂,又怎知何謂璀璨的人生?
孤寂又豈非人生之必經?

人很奇怪,每每要到了失去後,才懂得珍惜。
其實,幸褔早就放就在你的面前。

肚子餓壞的時候,有一碗熱騰騰的拉麵放在你眼前,幸福。
累得半死的時候,撲上軟軟的床,也是幸福。
哭得要命的時候,旁邊溫柔的遞來一張紙巾,更是幸福。

幸福本沒有絕對的定義,平常一些小事也往往能撼動你的心靈,幸福與否,只在乎你的心怎麼看待。

朋友,你的心,充滿了幸福嗎?
還是,溢滿了哀愁?

愉快的心情,敲你的心門時,你就該大大的開放你的心門,讓愉快與你同在。


~ 懂得保護懂得珍惜 ~
~ 懂得把握懂得即時 ~

人体 24 小时使用手册

1∶00 人体进入浅睡阶段,易醒。此时头脑较清楚,熬夜者想睡反而睡不着。

2∶00 绝大多数器官处于一天中工作最慢的状态,肝脏却在紧张工作,生血气为人体排毒。

3∶00 进入深度睡眠阶段,肌肉完全放松。

4∶00 “黎明前的黑暗”时刻,老年人最易发生意外。血压处于一天中最低值,糖尿病病人易出现低血糖,心脑血管患者易发生心梗等。

5∶00 阳气逐渐升华,精神状态饱满。

6∶00 血压开始升高,心跳逐渐加快。高血压患者得吃降压药了。

7∶00 人体免疫力最强。吃完早饭,营养逐渐被人体吸收。

8∶00 各项生理激素分泌旺盛,开始进入工作状态。

9∶00 适合打针、手术、做体检等。此时人体气血活跃,大脑皮层兴奋,痛感降低。

10∶00 工作效率最高。

10∶00-11∶00属于人体的第一个黄金时段。心脏充分发挥其功能,精力充沛,不会感到疲劳。

12∶00 紧张工作一上午后,需要休息。

12∶00-13∶00是最佳"子午觉"时间。不宜疲劳作战,最好躺着休息半小时至一小时。

14∶00 反应迟钝。易有昏昏欲睡之感,人体应激能力降低。

15∶00 午饭营养吸收后逐渐被输送到全身,工作能力开始恢复。

15∶00-17∶00为人体第二个黄金时段。最适宜开会、公关、接待重要客人。

16∶00 血糖开始升高,有虚火者此时表现明显。阳虚、肺结核等患者的脸部最红。

17∶00 工作效率达到午后时间的最高值,也适宜进行体育锻炼。

18∶00 人体敏感度下降,痛觉随之再度降低。

19∶00 最易发生争吵。此时是人体血压波动的晚高峰,人们的情绪最不稳定。

20∶00 人体进入第三个黄金阶段。记忆力最强,大脑反应异常迅速。

20∶00-21∶00适合做作业、阅读、创作、锻炼等。

22∶00 适合梳洗。呼吸开始减慢,体温逐渐下降。最好在十点半泡脚后上床,能很快入睡。

23∶00 阳气微弱,人体功能下降,开始逐渐进入深度睡眠,一天的疲劳开始缓解。

24∶00 气血处于一天中的最低值,除了休息,不宜进行任何活动。

Thursday 8 October 2009

平安

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

南 无 啊 弥 陀 佛

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Wallet

As I walked home one freezing day, I stumbled on a wallet someone had lost in the street. I picked it up and looked inside to find some identification so I could call the owner. But the wallet contained only three dollars and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been in there for years.

The envelope was worn and the only thing that was legible on it was the return address. I started to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then I saw the dateline--1924. The letter had been written almost sixty years ago.

It was written in a beautiful feminine handwriting on powder blue stationery with a little flower in the left-hand corner. It was a "Dear John" letter that told the recipient, whose name appeared to be Michael, that the writer could not see him any more because her mother forbade it. Even so, she wrote that she would always love him. It was signed, Hannah.

It was a beautiful letter, but there was no way except for the name Michael, that the owner could be identified. Maybe if I called information, the operator could find a phone listing for the address on the envelope.

"Operator," I began, "this is an unusual request. I'm trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found. Is there anyway you can tell me if there is a phone number for an address that was on an envelope in the wallet?"
She suggested I speak with her supervisor, who hesitated for a moment then said, "Well, there is a phone listing at that address, but I can't give you the number." She said, as a courtesy, she would call that number, explain my story and would ask them if they wanted her to connect me. I waited a few minutes and then she was back on the line. "I have a party who will speak with you."

I asked the woman on the other end of the line if she knew anyone by the name of Hannah. She gasped, "Oh! We bought this house from a family who had a daughter named Hannah. But that was 30 years ago!"
"Would you know where that family could be located now?" I asked.
"I remember that Hannah had to place her mother in a nursing home some years ago," the woman said. "Maybe if you got in touch with them they might be able to track down the daughter."
She gave me the name of the nursing home and I called the number. They told me the old lady had passed away some years ago but they did have a phone number for where they thought the daughter might be living. I thanked them and phoned. The woman who answered explained that Hannah herself was now living in a nursing home.

This whole thing was stupid, I thought to myself. Why was I making such a big deal over finding the owner of a wallet that had only three dollars and a letter that was almost 60 years old?

Nevertheless, I called the nursing home in which Hannah was supposed to be living and the man who answered the phone told me, "Yes, Hannah is staying with us. "

Even though it was already 10 p.m., I asked if I could come by to see her. "Well," he said hesitatingly, "if you want to take a chance, she might be in the day room watching television."

I thanked him and drove over to the nursing home. The night nurse and a guard greeted me at the door. We went up to the third floor of the large building. In the day room, the nurse introduced me to Hannah.

She was a sweet, silver-haired old timer with a warm smile and a twinkle in her eye. I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the letter. The second she saw the powder blue envelope with that little flower on the left, she took a deep breath and said, "Young man, this letter was the last contact I ever had with Michael."

looked away for a moment deep in thought and then said Softly, "I loved him very much. But I was only 16 at the time and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he was so handsome. He looked like Sean Connery, the actor."

"Yes," she continued. "Michael Goldstein was a wonderful person. If you should find him, tell him I think of him often. And," she hesitated for a moment, almost biting her lip, "tell him I still love him. You know," she said smiling as tears began to well up in her eyes, "I never did marry. I guess no one ever matched up to Michael..."

I thanked Hannah and said goodbye. I took the elevator to the first floor and as I stood by the door, the guard there asked, "Was the old lady able to help you?"
I told him she had given me a lead. "At least I have a last name. But I think I'll let it go for a while. I spent almost the whole day trying to find the owner of this wallet."

I had taken out the wallet, which was a simple brown leather case with red lacing on the side. When the guard saw it, he said, "Hey, wait a minute! That's Mr. Goldstein's wallet. I'd know it anywhere with that bright red lacing. He's always losing that wallet. I must have found it in the halls at least three times.""Who's Mr. Goldstein?" I asked as my hand began to shake.

"He's one of the old timers on the 8th floor. That's Mike Goldstein's wallet for sure. He must have lost it on one of his walks." I thanked the guard and quickly ran back to the nurse's office. I told her what the guard had said. We went back to the elevator and got on. I prayed that Mr. Goldstein would be up.

On the eighth floor, the floor nurse said, "I think he's still in the day room. He likes to read at night. He's a darling old man."

We went to the only room that had any lights on and there was a man reading a book. The nurse went over to him and asked if he had lost his wallet. Mr. Goldstein looked up with surprise, put his hand in his back pocket and said, "Oh, it is missing!"

"This kind gentleman found a wallet and we wondered if it could be yours?"I handed Mr. Goldstein the wallet and the second he saw it, he smiled with relief and said, "Yes, that's it! It must have dropped out of my pocket this afternoon. I want to give you a reward."
"No, thank you," I said. "But I have to tell you something. I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet."

The smile on his face suddenly disappeared. "You read that letter?"
"Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is."
He suddenly grew pale. "Hannah? You know where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was? Please, please tell me," he begged.
"She's fine...just as pretty as when you knew her." I said softly.
The old man smiled with anticipation and asked, "Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her tomorrow." He grabbed my hand and said, "You know something, mister, I was so in love with that girl that when that letter came, my life literally ended. I never married. I guess I've always loved her."
"Mr. Goldstein," I said, "Come with me."

We took the elevator down to the third floor. The hallways were darkened and only one or two little night-lights lit our way to the day room where Hannah was sitting alone watching the television. The nurse walked over to her.

"Hannah," she said softly, pointing to Michael, who was waiting with me in the doorway. "Do you know this man?"

She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn't say a word.
Michael said softly, almost in a whisper, "Hannah, it's Michael. Do you remember me?"
She gasped, "Michael! I don't believe it! Michael! It's you! My Michael!"
He walked slowly towards her and they embraced. The nurse and I left with tears streaming down our faces."See," I said. "

See how the Good Lord works! If it's meant to be, it will be."

About three weeks later I got a call at my office from the nursing home. "Can you break away on Sunday to attend a wedding? Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!"

It was a beautiful wedding with all the people at the nursing home dressed up to join in the celebration. Hannah wore a light beige dress and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue suit and stood tall.
They made me their best man. The hospital gave them their own room and if you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a 79-year-old groom acting like two teenagers, you had to see this couple.

A perfect ending for a love affair that had lasted nearly 60 years.

朋友

写完上一个贴,忽然间发现,怎么现在自己重要的朋友都是全男班了?

忽然很想念你们啊!!!

诗莹
佩君 (our infamous PK at college time)

唉,怎么都跑到国外去了?大家很久都没有聚聚了。
真得很想念以前一起疯狂的日子!!!

期待着下一次见面吧。。。。。。

重贴

"忽然间。。。 发现自己很久没有写部落格了, “自己写” 的定义是: 不是从某某处抄回来的故事或者文章咯。。。 原来。。。 自己只有在心情低落时, 脑子释放负能量时, 才会写部落格。。。 那。。。 很久没写。。。 是好事? 还是坏事呢? 是自己很久没有不开心了? 还是已经麻木了?"

那到底是好事呢?还是坏事?
可是我发现自己真得很迟钝!!!到现在我才懂得,原来幸福可以是很简单的。
亲人或朋友的一句小小的问候,就可以给我无限的力量继续往前冲。

《谢谢》

哥,谢谢你!
只要你在,我知道自己还有一个哥哥,心里就总觉得踏实很多。

Alex,谢谢你!
你总是在我累的时候当我的避风港,让我可以静静地沉淀自己。

富和,谢谢你!
总是在听我发牢骚,然后就不着痕迹地开解我。

七仔,谢谢你!
经过了这么多,你还把我当作朋友;虽然只是普通朋友,可是我心里真的觉得很欣慰了。

达子,谢谢你!
一切总在不言中。

**************

忘记得不到的,忘记失去了的;原来幸福就真的是这么简单!

原来把握现在拥有的,就已经是一件很幸福的事了!

Monday 5 October 2009

老师?妓女?好老师!

卖一次淫,可以帮助一名失学儿童;当一回二奶,可以拯救一所希望小学… 别笑,看过你就不会笑了…
Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress once, can rescue a hopeless primary school... Don't laugh, after you read, u won't laugh.

看完这个帖子,无语了。我不知道该说什么,是社会错了,还是怎么了?
After I read this story, I speakless. I don't know what to say, is it society's fault, or else?

殷彩霞死了,死前她是一名妓女,更确切的说,她是一名老师。是当今中国当之无愧的老师。她用自己肮脏的身体,纯洁了孩子的心灵。
Xia die, she was a hooker, or she was a teacher.. She is the most honourable teacher in China . She use her dirty body, wash thru children's heart.

一个妓女死了,所有的孩子哭着参加了她的追悼会,学校的国旗为她降了一半!
A hooker's death, all children cried and attend her funeral, a school drop the national flag for her.

这名年仅21岁的美女教师的追悼会上,校长翻开殷彩霞的日记,当着孩子们的面老泪纵横地朗读起来,她这样写道:卖一次淫,可以帮助一名失学儿童;当一回二奶,可以拯救一所希望小学…
In the funeral of this 21yo pretty teacher, headmaster read Xia's diary sadly in front of all the students, she written : 'Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress once, can rescue a hopeless primary school.'....

殷彩霞出生在甘肃省某县的农村,在那个贫困的地方,村里的其他姑娘,无论美丑,早就到南方沿海城市去打工挣钱了,每到春节,她们都会打扮得花枝招展,大包小包的提回来。而殷彩霞高中毕业后没这么做,很多人都不理解,毕竟她的长相在村里是数一数二的。为此,她的父亲经常骂自己的女儿没出息。
Xia lived in a small village of province of Gan Shu . All ladies in this small village, no matter she is pretty or not, went to Southern part of city to earn money. Every spring time, they will come back with money and beautiful cloths. Xia didn't follow after she finished her secondary school. A lot of people don't understand what is she thinking of as she has the pretty face and body. And because of this, her father always scold her.

听说当地一所民办小学缺老师,她主动跟学校要求免费代课。因为她中学成绩就很好,顺利的通过了学校的文化考核,成为一名真正的民办教师。
When she heard of the only primary school in the village needs some teachers, she volunteerly ask to become a free teacher. She is a very good student in her secondary school and because of this, she easily pass thru all the test and became the teacher of the school.

当殷彩霞第一次走进课堂的时候,孩子门哗然了,他们从未见过如此漂亮的女老师。从此,教室里常常洋溢着孩子们的欢声笑语。说是教室,其实也就一遮风挡雨的茅草棚,树杆埋成的墙,石板搭起的课桌,砖头码起的讲台,最值钱的就是那块用青砖砌起之后经打磨又刷了黑漆的黑板了,粉笔不够用,常以石灰与泥巴代替。就是在这样条件下,殷彩霞教会孩子们认识了几千个汉字,也教会了他们很多做人的道理。
The 1st time when Xia walk into the classroom, all children shock to see a pretty teacher. From then on, the classroom always fill with children's laughter. Classroom -- should call it a hut instead as the wall is made of sticks and cover with leaves as its ceiling. A big stone become their table and the most expensive should be the polished dark-green stone as their blackboard. With this condition, Xia taught thousands of Chinese words and knowledge to her students.

一天夜里刮大风,茅草棚盖的学校屋顶被掀翻,黑板也被刮倒。第2天孩子们上学的时候各个不知道所措。校长去找县教育局长要钱结果无功而返。老校长晚上回来对殷彩霞说,局长说要你去才给。从来没有出过远门、也没有见过世面的殷彩霞怕把事情搞杂了,胆怯的步行10几公里去了县里。局长的办公室装修很豪华,墙上挂着很多锦旗,办公桌黑里透红,可以照见人影,上面立着一面小国旗,椅子是皮的,好象擦了鞋油一样光亮,比他的脑袋还要亮。局长见到殷彩霞,色咪咪聊了很多不着边际的话。直到天黑了,校长指着另外一扇门对她说,跟我过来拿钱。当殷彩霞走进去的时候,她只看到了一张床,也就是在那张床上,她失去了她的第一次,确切地说,是局长夺走了她的第一次。
There was wild rain destroy the classroom of the school and all students become schoolless.. The headmaster visit the province's education minister for some money to repair the classroom and come back with nothing. Headmaster told Xia that the minister said only will give money if Xia ask for it. Xia never meet any minister before and afraid that she will make the things worst and decided to visit the minister. She walked more than 10km to the province ministry office and sit in a beautiful office in front of the minister. Minister's eyes looks hungry and point to a room and said to Xia. Your money is in the room, if you want, follow me. Xia saw a big bed in the room and is the bed that she lost her virgin. Minister raped her..

床单上留下了处子的血,那血,比挂在局长办公室墙上的国旗还要红。
Her virgin blood drop on the bedsheet and is more reddish than the color of the national flag in the room.

殷彩霞没有哭,因为,在眼前浮现的是孩子们没有教室上课而可怜的望着她的眼神!
Xia didn't cry, all she is thinking of is the eyes of all disappointed students that have no classroom.

她连夜步行回到家里,没有跟任何人说起她的屈辱。
She didn't tell anyone about the rape after she went home.

第二天,村民们自发来到学校,买了些材料把简陋的教室重新搭建起来了。可遇到刮风下雨的日子,依然上不了课。殷彩霞几次跟孩子们说,县里不久将会来人给他们买砖头盖一所牢固的教室,在这半年里,校长去县城找了局长十几趟,一分钱没拿到。只有他知道局长对殷彩霞做了些什么,但他却无能为力。新学期开始了,很少人交得起学费,能够坚持来校上课的孩子越来越少了,他们都跟着父母放羊去了。殷彩霞内心感到了疼痛,为这些失学儿童而疼痛。
The next day, with the money that brought back by Xia, all villagers bought some woods and repair the classroom. But whenever there was a heavy rain, the classroom still cannot be used. Xia always tell the students that province ministry department will built a good school for them. In the past half year, headmaster had visited the ministers more than 100 times and never ever get any money from them. He is the only 1 knows what did Xia did and he can do nothing about it. New semester comes, a lot of students cannot pay their fees and become schoolless and follow their parents to work. Xia sad about that.

当殷彩霞知道孩子们的希望已经化为泡影的时候,她脱光了自己的衣服,对着镜子暗暗发誓将用自己的身体去实现孩子们的上学梦。在家乡她知道那些花枝招展回来过年的姐妹们都是在外做批肉生意的。她明白那是一条赚钱的捷径。她洗了个澡,告别了校长、告别的父亲,告别了那间千疮百孔的茅草棚,扎着两条麻花辫走向了繁华的大都市。临走的时候,父亲笑了,校长哭了......
When Xia feel that her hope of all students can go to school become hopeless, she drop all her cloths and swear to her naked body that she will use this body to exchange for the children to be able to go to school. She knows that all ladies in the village are working as a prostitute to earn the living and she knows this is a shortcut for her to earn money. She washed herself and say goodbye to headmaster, father, and school. She tight her hair as 2 ponytails and walk to the city. When she leave, her father smile and headmaster cry....

繁华都市的五颜六色并没有给殷彩霞带来一丝兴奋,她眼里始终浮现的是那间低矮茅草棚搭建的教室和孩子们渴望的目光。她走进了一家发廊,躺在了肮脏的床上,经受了人生的第二次蹂躏。那天,她在日记本上写着:局长连个嫖客都不如。 殷彩霞是那帮姐妹里最节俭的女孩。她从来不化妆,也从来不穿那些性感的衣服,她总爱扎着麻花辫,但她的生意却总是最好的,她总是抢了其他妓女的饭碗,她也经常为此遭到妓女们的群殴。鼻青脸肿之后,她会走向另一家发廊,似乎只有在那粉色的灯光下她才可以看到希望。看着嫖客们一张张邪恶的嘴脸,她似乎看到了孩子们天真的笑容,但她从来就不曾因此而流泪,因为,她是个老师。
In the colorful city, Xia is not happy at all, in her mind, there are only broken classroom and sadness and disappointed eyes of students. She walked into a Hair-Saloon, lay down on a dirty bed, and accept her 2nd dirty business. In that night, in her diary, she wrote : 'Minister can't even compare to her 1st customer. At least they pay.'

她将自己的收入除去生活费之后,全部寄给了校长。校长按照殷彩霞的意思将她寄回的一笔笔嫖资全都用于改善小学的教学条件上。有人问起那笔钱的来源,校长就说那是社会捐助的善款。
She sends all her earnings except those for her to live on to headmaster. Headmaster follows her instruction to use the money on the school. People ask about the source of the money and headmaster only answer that it was from some donation of society.

世上没有不透风的墙,有一天终于从邮局传来消息说那些钱是殷老师寄来的。当地媒体得知这一消息后纷纷试图采访殷彩霞,但都被她婉言谢绝了,因为,她是个妓女。
After a while, people knows about the source of money is from the teacher and many reporters would like to interview her and she just refused and the reason is that she is just a prostituet.

有钱了,学校变了,第一个月,买了黑板,修了屋顶。第二个月,有了木制的课桌与板凳。第三个月,所有的孩子都有了课本。第四个月,所有的孩子都有了红领巾。第五个月,已经没有孩子光着脚丫上课了。
With the money, the school changed. First month, there is a new blackboard.. 2nd month, a wooden table and chair. 3rd month, all children has their own books. 4th month, all children has a red tie. 5th month, no children go to school bare leg.

第六个月,殷彩霞回来了。当孩子们看到她的时候,争先恐后地叫她'殷老师……殷老师回来了……殷老师好漂亮啊……'。看到孩子们激动的笑脸,殷彩霞哭了,这半年里,多少的委屈和泪水,在她眼里都那么的有价值。
On the 6th month, Xia come back. All students welcome her happily and say 'Teacher is so beautiful'... With all student's smiling face, Xia cries.. how many tear drops and how many sadness in the past 6 months... she feels worthy when she see all these.

在家呆了几天,殷老师又踏上了南下的路。
After few days at home, she goes back to city.

第七个月,有了操场。 第八个月,有了篮球。第九个月,有了新铅笔。 第十个月,学校有了自己的国旗,孩子们每天都能够在操场上看到国旗冉冉升起 在第十一个月,一个房地产商坚持不用套,结果让殷老师意外怀孕了,打完胎后,殷老师成了房地产商的二奶。可那位包养她半年的房产商因为因近段时间深圳房价陡降而抛弃了她,一分钱没付。
7th month, built a ball park, 8th month, basketball, 9th month, all students has their new pencils. 10th month, the school has their own national flag, students raise the national flags daily. 11th month, a land-developer refuse to use condom and Xia pregnant. After abortion, she become the developer's mistress. After a few months, the developers dump her because he faced problem on land-value drop in ShengXhen, he didn't pay her 1 cent.

殷彩霞终于疲倦了,她想回家,她想回到孩子们的身边,可她最大的梦想是为孩子们盖上一间砖砌的教室,再为孩子们买上两台电脑,因为这个梦想还没实现,所以她只能回头去苦苦哀求那位房产商。房产商说没钱,但可以为她介绍一笔大生意,一老外,愿意出三千美元买她一夜。想到几年前的那阵大风,殷彩霞拖着疲惫的身躯爬上了老外的床。她发誓,过了那个晚上她就回到她久别的家乡,回到她久别的课堂。
Xia feel tired, she think of go home and go back to the school, but she has yet to fulfill student's dream which are building a concrete classroom and 2 PCs for the students. Because of these, she went back to beg the developer and the developer just refuse to pay anything but only introduce a foreigner to her. Said the foreigner will pay her 3000rmb for 1 night. Think of the wild rain happen few days ago, she tiredly goes to the foreigner's hotel. She sweared that she will go back to her home and school after this.

可就在那个晚上,殷老师被三个外国人强奸致死。死前她才刚过完自己21岁的生日。
She killed by the 3 foreigner because of raping. She just turned 21yo.

殷老师死了,她没能完成她最后的夙愿,那就是给孩子们盖上一间砖砌的教室,再为孩子们买上两台电脑……
Xia died without fulfill her final wish which to build a concrete classroom and 2 PCs.

一个妓女死了,悄无声息。深圳的天空还是那么蓝,官员们在豪华宴席上高谈阔论,道路上行驶的高级轿车散发着耀眼的光芒。兴奋的人们滔滔不绝地谈论着股票、房价和车市,还有电影、音乐和爱情。路边亲亲我我恋爱的小青年们为了一点小事要死要活。
A hooker dies, silently, the sky of ShengZhen is still as blue as before, ministers still happily sitting in their office, many expensive cars still running on street, people happily discussing share market, house market value, car value, and movies, music and love story. Youngster try to suicide because of small matters happen between themselves.

可在此时,甘肃那个人们已经忘记了的小山村,正在举行只有学生、老师和数百位沉痛的村民的追悼会。
At this time, students, teachers and few hundreds of villagers attending the funeral in this small village 'GanShu'

追悼会上,人们看到殷彩霞的一张黑白照片,照片里,她扎着两个麻花辫,笑得如此单纯。校长翻开殷彩霞的日记,当着孩子们的面老泪纵横地朗读起来,她这样写道:卖一次淫,可以帮助一名失学儿童;当一回二奶,可以拯救一所希望小学… 校的国旗降了一半。
In the funeral, people see a black and white photo of Xia. In the photo, she has 2 pony tails and happily smile. Headmaster open the diary of Xia and read in front of all students, she wrote : ' Each prostitution, can help one schooless child; become a mistress once, can rescue a hopeless primary school...' The national flag drop to its half... May be, this is the ONLY national flag drop half because of a GREAT hooker in China 's history.